Wednesday, 2 July 2014

Angrrrrrr

First you have to understand the below saying on my blog to be able to understand this article completely (i.e., if you are able to read it completely)


As per Webster dictionary anger is defined as a state in which you are anywhere between pissed or super pissed.  Really……..I know you want to check your dictionary, but if you have a dictionary at home and want to search the meaning of the word “anger”, then you are a suck up.

Anger is an emotion which causes you to do stupid things like slapping people in public, slapping people in pubic (read it again), biting ears off in the ring or on the football field, barking at people with cameras, shooting at innocent animals and wearing T shirts which contradicts what you did, etc, etc, etc, etc.

There is no one way the anger manifests itself.

You have to go home late on your wife’s birthday to witness one form of anger or call her mother names to see another form or ogle at her friend to witness yet another form.

Physiologically speaking, anger is not good for health.  It is a proven scientific fact.  Try the following Harvard approved , psycoanalatically proven experiment and you will know.

Friday evening: Sit with your wife and tell her that you are missing her very much and want to spend the entire weekend with her alone.

Saturday morning: Arrange for a friend to call and act as if there is an emergency at the office and walk out without complete explanation.

Sunday afternoon: If you can, update comments on this post if you agree with me or not.  You will see that anger is definitely not good for health.

Anger and booze don’t go well together.  Both wants to take over one another and almost always anger wins, meaning you will have to spend more on booze.  See what I mean? Whether you drive when you are drunk or not is left to you…….but never get angry when high.

So, why do we get angry? when people ask this dumb question is one reason, another is when people don’t meet our expectations (Even I can be profound), last reason is when people meet our expectations (Like mother-in-law being nice on a day when you have mustered enough courage to confront her about too many visits)
Anger is gender biased.  Anger is a woman is entirely different from anger in men.  It comes for different reasons, shows itself in different forms and always (without exception) ends in the man apologizing.

In women anger comes for no reason at all.  Here they are giggling one moment and the next they are so angry you will think that Arvind K joined NaMo for “chai pe charcha” and the very next they will be in tears.

Men get angry for simple and understandable reasons. No change for smoke, lighter not working, too much traffic on a Saturday, too many kids around (Number of kids can be 1 also), India losing to Pakistan, power off during a very interesting match, your wife's beautiful friend calling you brother, your wife's beautiful friend getting married, your wife's beautiful friend getting married to an arsehole, etc, etc, etc, etc.

When you get angry, you immobilize yourself and cause a lot of destruction to yourself and everyone around your like Arvind K did to Delhi………trust me friends, anger is one emotion you can do without………..

Best ways to beat anger are :

1)      Don’t acknowledge it
2)      Stay away from negative people
3)      Don’t expect others to be like you
4)      MOST IMPORTANT : Don’t cross your wife………

Hell hath no fury as the wrath of a woman scorned – William Congreve

OR

In simple words my boss used to say “Learn to let go”.  Thanks boss for those wise words, I am no longer getting beaten up at home as frequently as before.