Again, that does not mean all Team Leads are
incompetent. Like I said earlier, I have seen both sides of the coin, the front
side and the back side (I am still deciding which is which).Just like bad
politicians, worst politicians and Rahul Gandhi ,there are different kinds of
leaders.
Lets talk about the “all important” HR department,
which is like tooth ache with hangover. Can’t decide which is worst.
In BPOs,wives of CEOs or CFOs of big companies are
hired as HR personnel(Mostly). They are
easy to recognise. On any given day they
are dressed in jeans, kurti, their hair will never be in place, they are rotund
and short, wear thick glasses. They are short
tempered and have “holier than thou” air about them or they will look like
somebody out of Victoria’s Secret (By the way, what is the secret?), either
ways they are annoying.
HR department is categorized in to several divisions
depending on work load and competency.
Given below is a clear table on the same (Not to be mistaken to be
inaccurate):
Profile
|
Competency
|
Hiring
|
1) Should
know local language well and passable English
2) Should
not have any concept of weekend( for themselves or others)
3) Should
be able to give an impression of being a colossal idiot even to a complete
stranger
4) Should
not have any concept of time
5) Should
have an excellent appetite
6) Should
be able to look busy even when nobody is around (Or is it, “especially when
somebody is around?” I am confused)
7) Should
be able to handle snacks, lunch, phone calls and being an idiot, all at the
same time
Any
kind of graduation will help but not mandatory
|
Engagement
|
It is a big team and hence :
1) Should
be able to keep each other engaged
2) Recognise
the strongest in the operations team and take breaks with him/her (Sorry, not
breaks –Supportive Humanskill Improvement Talk, in short SHIT)
3) Should
be able to smile at people they hate
4) Give
legal reasons for playing with people’s lives
5) Should
be able to make pie charts out of an empty excel sheet (I know you are going
to try this)
6) Should
be available in cafeteria at any given point in time
7) Should
be able to copy personality development PPT from Google, change colors and
use it as Leadership Improvement Programmes (But they are
original….seriously)
|
For the sake of sustenance, HR is supposed to
train Team Leads on people management skills. So the above PPT is downloaded,
color changed, a few text removed and then the same is added (No idea? – get
idea). Then the concerned Team sits down to device a time table which ensures
that the Team Leads don’t get enough sleep for a week, since they will be
working night shifts and attending this programme(?) during the day time. These people can put Hitler to shame.
Only Dalia Lama can be patient with this breed. I
mean, you should attend this programme. Of the team who is supposedly training
,not even one of them have handled operations floor for a day, but they talk
about how to handle stress, how to handle difficult agents, do’s and don’ts of
communications etc. Above all, they give
bonding exercises (Hey aunty, you want to bond, come to our weekend
party). It is like our local temple
trustee teaching Ramalinga Raju how to handle PL account.
However, I have seen some excellent examples of HR
personnel. All of them quit before doing any serious damage.
You should see hiring team in action. Their end to end solution is like watching a
spoof of Allari Naresh movies, which are spoof movies in the first place. Half
the interview , they are on calls with their consultants fixing more
interviews. Second half, they are asking questions which are not relevant to
the job in any way. Not all of them are like that, there are some good examples
of interview skills, they all gave interviews in good companies and moved out.
To my friends in Human Resources : The above is my
experience with a few people and not with the department. I have immense respect for what you do and
request you to continue doing the same, exactly in the same manner in which you
are doing at this very moment.
More to come………WFM………
Nice observations ... very "pragmatic" indeed ..:)
ReplyDelete