Thank you for calling…….(Contd…)

After reading the first article about call centers, you must be thinking “what is wrong with this guy?” (of course with some @#$% and @#$%^ and lets not forget @$&*&^%$%&*) but that is not the case.  I learnt what I know from my experience in the industry (Don’t judge my knowledge level by these articles, I have other ways of proving my IQ. Few are listed here : 14 years of marriage, 10 years of being a father, number of movies I have downloaded, my decision not to date Rambha, how to borrow pin numbers to extend my MS office version etc).

All is not bad in the industry, all that I came across is bad, lets say that, yeah, sounds better.

One thing that brings all call center employees together is their language. Call center employees have a unique industry jargon. Given below is a typical conversation between an agent (who works his ass out) and his Team Lead( Who thinks he is working his ass out).

Agent (Agent) : What is the meaning of this hike ? (Agents are known to ask this question no matter how much hike they get)

Team Lead (TL) : What’s wrong with it? (TLs are known to give that answer no matter how low the agent’s hike is)

Agent : What’s wrong?  I got less than Shunty (Shunty is a folically challenged call center employee I knew)

TL : You are not supposed to discuss your hike with anyone (That’s an answer?)

Agent : Everybody discusses everything, Yuvi (Yuvi a grey matter challenged employee I knew)

TL : Well, you are not supposed to (Still no answer)

Agent : That’s not an answer (Atta boy!!!!)

TL : Ok, what do you want to know?(See? I told you this guy is grey matter challenged)

Agent : (Sigh) all my metrics were in place for the period and I was selected for IJP and all.  I got in to RNR, my NPS and QA were the best, while my AHT saw a good trend with reduced ACW and hold.  No UAs, UUs or NCNS. Then why?.  Shunty always took leaves after salary, came to office drunk once or twice. He was on DAP and PIP, never got selected for IJP but he gets more than me?

TL : (First of all he just now realized that Shunty used to take leaves right after salary, second thing is he does not remember this agent’s performance) All said and done, it is the management’s call buddy.  I don’t make rules, I follow them. However you have a good chance in this WFM IJP, I heard Syed (That is the lispy idiot I knew) is quitting or being asked to leave.

If you have not worked in a call center, you can make out only a vague outline of that conversation by context, like the “Dil maange more” controversy.  But only call center employees will understand what’s happening.  To enlighten you these are the highlights:

 TL is close to Shunty.  TL also takes leave after salary, probably with Shunty, TL never conducts monthly performance reviews and last but not the least TL is not in good terms with his boss.

No money for guessing who will get promoted in the next WFM IJP.  Congrats Shunty(You are right.  He is the typical Lipum Inthe Assum breed).