Women
When god created earth, he was in a very happy mood. He was very proud of what he had done and
wanted to show it off to somebody (A natural tendency in men, god or not). So he called Adam and asked “Yo, Adam, what
do you think?”. To which Adam replied by asking “’bout what?”. God smiled at his naiveté(A natural tendency
in gods to think everybody is naïve)”My son, the world around you?, the lush
green trees, fresh water, chirping birds, wild animals, cool breeze and of
course apples”. Adam looked around for a
while in surprise and asked “What about them?”. This time god was a little
irritated “What about them? What do you mean? Aint it awesome?”. Again Adam had that look on his face that
Modi had when AAP won. For a while, Adam did not say anything. Then he looked at the Lord Almighty and asked
again “Come again bro? what did you want to know?”. Now god was really really pissed. How dare this mere mortal not even notice his
wonderful creation. But he was god, the personification
of patience and epitome of forgiveness, so he gulped down his wrath and in his
godly voice (which is somewhere between Ambrish Puri’s angry voice and Sachin
Tendulkar’s victory voice)he explained his question again “I wanted to know
what the fuck do you think of the creation around you. You know those green
things that are fluttering, small lively things that float in the air without
any strings, that blue thingie which you just washed your ass in and of course,
lets not forget that red round thing which I asked you not to eat but you went
ahead and ate the fuck up anyway. What do you think of these?”. Now Adam looked like he just went for a royal
poop (of course he did you nincompoop. Didnt you read that phrase where god
said he washed his ass?).”Oh, those things? Huh, pretty ok by me I guess. I mean, you are god after all and you have
all these cool powers.”. Now, the all
powerful really got it to his head. “7
days I sat and did this shit one by one and all this idiot says is “ok?”. I will show him” thought the Lord and hence
created women.
Now, the historians, mythologists and their kind may dispute
the above fact but it only goes to show how much they know. You see, if Adam
had given a good answer instead of replying like Modi ,when asked where he got
money for his election campaigning, then may be God would have created one more
man, this time with some beer bottles in hand. But nooooo, this first idiot had
to act like Arvind K when he got slapped in public for the second time and had
to say that stuff. Now we are stuck with
this other species who ought to have grown on trees. I personally don’t have anything against the
fairer sex(I am all for them while they
are between 22 to 30 years) but history has time and again proved that it is
because of them that world is where it is.
Lets take a closer look at men when he is around women. When a man is with his wife alone (no, don’t go
there. This is a decent article and I don’t
want it censored) he acts the way she wants, while thinking that’s what he wants. That’s the power a wife has over her husband.
Take my marriage for example, my wife is a very beautiful woman, who is multi talented.
She can cook, clean, wash, keep records of whatever she keeps record of , watch
multiple mega serials without getting confused or numb in the brain, remember
my birthday, remember all the time that I did not remember her birthday, choose
what dress I wear, etc etc. Wow, just
listing them got me tired. She does all
this but cannot remember to bring coconut for breakfast (Ref : Rambling –
Introduction). It is uncanny how she knows when I get calls from friends to fix
a date for a party, that too while on the call. For example, only last week my
friend Raj (I will be writing a chapter on this guy later for better perspective)
called and invited me to his home because his family will be away on
vacation. While on the call my wife
walks in from the kitchen and just stands there looking at me and all I was
saying was “Aaha” “ummm”, “ok”, “that’s fine”, “correct”. How can she deduce, what she deduces only
from that is beyond me. God has bestowed this power to all women is my strong
belief.
They have all these cool powers. They are called women’s intuition. They know
what you are going to say next or even what you are going to do next. Remember that lady in the window you read
about in the first chapter? Well ,my wife knows about her. How did god create
this miracle and clung on to sanity is an eternal, unanswered question.
All women are alike.
They like to talk about everything on earth (make it everybody on
earth). If you witnessed a kitty party
(Medically not recommended) you will find that all of them are talking at the
same time but somehow manage to understand each other.
Well, to sum it up, they are cooler than men (I know my wife
will read this and I still have not bought that coconut).
Hats
off to all the women, all you men can go to hell (not the married ones, you are already
in one)
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