Old Sayings are…..
I grew up listening to these old sayings. Like, old is gold, what you sow so you reap,
time and tide waits for none, so on and so forth. I am sure even you have a few lines etched in
your brain from your younger days.
Are all these sayings sensible? I am not sure. First of all
why don’t they come out and say what they want to say instead of using these
lines. Most of them are irrelevant, indecipherable
and probably non traceable to its origin.
If you actually trace them back to their origin, you will find that a
man said most of these things after a few beers and a few pegs of tequila.
Lets take one for example…..”History repeats itself”. If this is true then why aren’t we able to
predict future accurately?. If that line
was true, you would have a conversation similar to this :
Astrologer (ASS.
For the sake of numerology I added one more S): Whad is your dade of
birdth (read as birth)
You (U. That significant you are) : dade of what?
ASS: Birdth, birdth.
U : (Perplexed) what is a dade of birdth?
ASS: (Perplexedth) the dade thad you dook birdth
onn (the second n is not for numerology, that’s how he says “on”)
U : (Flustered, because I used perplexedth twice
already) first dell me, sorry, tell me what is a dade?
ASS: (Now really angry at U, correct… you, for not
undersdanding a simple word) wad will you do knnowing your fuudure if kannod
undersdand a simble (now you got it righdth? Ha ha ) word lige dade?
U : (Egually, sorry ….equally angry) who is
asging, sorry, asking you for my fudure? I am here to asg, sorry ask if you
know where is the nearest wine sdore, store?
Since this
conversation is not going anywhere lets go to another version:
ASS: What is your date of birth?
U : 16th August 1974
ASS : Time?
U : for what?
ASS : What is your time of birth?
U : (With a sheepish smile) oh, 23:46
ASS : Wow, that’s specific. No problem give me
some time.
U : Ok. Time for what?
ASS : To tell you your fudure, future.
U : Future? I just wanted to know where is the
nearest wine stores?
ASS: Since we have come so far, why don’t you know
it anyway?
U: What do you charge?
ASS: What are you buying?
U: Huh!!!!
ASS: What are you buying to drink?
U : Smirnoff vodka
ASS : One quarter
U : No, full bottle
ASS : You are really dumb, I said I will charge
one quarter
U : (Again with the sheepish smile) oh, ok
ASS : Lets see, since history repeats itself, in
next 5 years, you will cheat government of its money, become CM of your state
for 49 days, resign for no reason, create havoc on roads, get slapped atleast
twice and contest again shamelessly.
U : Wow! That’s specific.
See what I mean? So what do you think of that?.
My parents always told that these sayings were
handed down from generations. We are
from lower middle class background, our ancestors could have used their time
more productively and handed down property instead of these one liners which
sounds like congress manifesto. Now unfortunately I am going to hand down the
same shit to my son as well because instead of using MY time productively I am
writing these BS articles which no one reads or understands.
Lets take one more saying, “What you sow, so you
reap”. Really? You figured it out all by yourself? NOOOOOOOO.
Come on, admit it, you are a scientist right?.
What crap!!!! So you are telling me, what is true
for plants and trees are exactly true for human actions? If that was true then
everybody that Modi is contesting in this elections should be behind bars, or
dead preferably.
I mean, where do they come up with all this? Worst
still, it gets handed down.
You go and tell a Setu that “Old is gold”. He will laugh you out of his shop and report
you to his community in his next meeting of NPA (National Pawnbrokers
Association) under the category “The most hilarious person I have met”. Your name will be on their wall of fame,
right below Deve Gowda’s. I am not sure
why his name is etched there.
Check this out : “A brother may not be a friend, but a friend
will always be a brother”. -- Ben Franklin. Obviously Mr. Franklin never met Salman of
his time. I mean, he was after all one of the founding fathers of the most
powerful nation, you would think atleast he would say something like “Your
fudure is in your boss’ yands”.
To give you an overall picture of what I am talking about, given
below is a sample sayings and my thoughts on the same :
Saying
|
My thoughts
|
A guilty conscience
needs no accuser. -- English Proverb<
|
If
you cannot hide it, then don’t do it
|
A horse may run
quickly but it cannot escape its tail. -- Russian proverb (on conscience)
|
Horse's
tail is not detacable Mr. Bean
|
A tree falls the way
it leans. -- Walloon (on rewards and consequences)
|
Wait
till it leans, then run the other way
|
Bad gains are true
losses. -- Ben Franklin (1706-1790)
|
Mr.
Franklin must have been around for the 2G Scam
|
Conscience makes
cowards of us all. -- William Shakespeare (1564-1616)
|
Don’t
think too much, just gulp it down
|
Depend on others and
you will go hungry. -- Nepalese (on self-reliance)
|
Bring
you own snaks to the booze party
|
Depend on your walking
stick; not on other people. -- Japanese (on self-reliance)
|
あなたの杖に依存;されていない他の人々に
|
Empty sacks will never
stand upright. -- Italian Proverb
|
If
it does, video and upload on youtube
|
Everyone gets their
just deserts. -- unknown
|
Good
then, mine will be Liquer
|
He that goes
aborrowing, goes asorrowing. -- R. Taverner (1545)
|
he
who agoes asying athings with "a" will aget abeatn up
|
He that lies down with
the dogs riseth with fleas. -- George Herbert (1593-1633)
|
Does
it matter to him. Really? Are you grooming a homeless man?
|
Hurry is good only for
catching flies. -- Russian (on the conduct of life)
|
Which
Hari? I am sure he is pissed by this
|
It's no use closing
the barn door after the horse is gone. -- John Heywood (c.1497-1580)
|
Wait
till it goes and then close the door and don’t make any sound
|
Let the punishment fit
the crime. -- W.S. Gilbert (1836-1911)
|
Rs. 200 crore stolen and the guy is roaming
free. Sure, no problem
|
Liars often set their
own traps. -- Aesop (c.620-560 BC)
|
Learn
to lie and remember them
|
Little leaks sink the
ship. -- Ben Franklin
(1706-1790)
|
Big
ones does too, but no, we will not talk about them.
|
Medicine left in the
container can't help. -- Yoruba (West African)
|
The
ones that you take will kill you, so what does yoruba mean?
|
Mess with the bull and
one usually gets the horns. -- Latin American saying
|
That’s
tempting. What happened to you will
get trampled on?
|
No sleep, no dreams.
-- Korean (on rewards
and consequences)
|
Then
you are in good health
|
One who steals has no
right to complain if he is robbed. -- Aesop (c.620-560 BC)
|
If
you are a thief and get robbed, then you are plain simple stupid
|
The creditor hath a
better memory than the debtor. -- unknown
|
But
the debtor has better reasons. On your
face unknown
|
The eagle was killed
with an arrow made with its own
feathers. -- Armenian (on paradox)
|
That’s
just plain spiteful. You can even shoot them. What kind of a sadist will
catch an eagle, take a few feathers, release that eagle and then kills it?
|
The fat is in the
fire. -- John Heywood
(c.1497-1580)
|
All
thin ones, run…….
|
The frog enjoys itself
in water but not in hot water. -- African proverb Wolof Tribe
|
Once
the frog is in hot water, Goans enjoy them
|
The proof is in the
pudding. -- Miguel de Cervantes (1547-1616)
|
Then
don’t tell the police, idiot
|
What breaks in a
moment may take years to mend. -- Swedish Proverb
|
Time
pass. If anything breaks in a moment, it is not worth mending. It will break
again.
|
What you give is what
you get. -- unknown
|
Not
true, sometimes you don’t get anything back.
|
You can't buy an inch
of time with an inch of gold. -- Chinese (on time and timeliness)
|
If
you are going around with gold asking for time in exchange, let me know where
you are.
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